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8.25.2019 (1 day before arriving at Burning Man) 

A gift has arrived and I cherish it:

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life

don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.

be on the watch.

there are ways out.

there is light somewhere.

it may not be much light but

it beats the darkness.

be on the watch.

the gods will offer you chances.

know them.

take them.

you can’t beat death but

you can beat death in life, sometimes.

and the more often you learn to do it,

the more light there will be.

your life is your life.

know it while you have it.

you are marvelous

the gods wait to delight in you.

-- by Charles Bukowski


They are not her words and he didn’t arrange them for my eyes. 

They resonate just as strongly. They feel as relevant as any message composed solely for my eyes, never to be consumed by another.

My mood has shifted.

-

I miss my relatively stable life but there is the possibility to create a story and as Yuval Noah Harari reminded me this year when I read Sapiens: Stories are perhaps as real as the world they create.

Adventure is afoot and I am ready to burn images of a past story that doesn’t serve me any longer.

My mood has shifted... Again.

-

We will not be leaving today. Eight people have died on the road into Black Rock City (Burning Man’s temporary city) all traffic is blocked and the road is closed. 

I’m grateful to be alive. There were times not so long ago where I contemplated the value of this human experience. I am grateful to not only understand, but also to know the value of my human life. To miss people, to care about my role in the cosmic drama.

My mood has shifted... Again

-

Kaeti told me the days would be very long. She was correct.

I watch my first desert sunset; It is extraordinarily spectacular. The attached picture does no justice to the magnificence of a desert sunset. I make my final contact with the world outside of Black Rock City.


Cover Photo: Valerie B Zarfati

All others in this series can be found in order of date on the “speculation” blog page. Organized by date, the next can be found at 2019.08.26

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